Welcome to Dance Moms season 6, where the drama has gotten so bad that even the dancers — not just the dance moms — are losing it. This week, as the Abby Lee Dance Company prepared to perform a David Bowie tribute at Sheer Talent Competition in Las Vegas, dance moms Ashlee Allen and Jill Vertes had yet another screaming match; and even Kendall K. was part of the insanity. As if that weren’t bad enough, the rumors of Maddie Ziegler leaving the ALDC continued to be a talking point while Abby Lee Miller was busy grooming her next big star in Brynn Rumfallo. Is this rock bottom or just an all-new low? Come take a walk on the dark side with us in our Dance Moms 6×13 recap, and decide for yourself.
And into the woods we go…With the customary five minutes (or three days, whatever) to prepare for their next competition, the team started making their way to Abby Lee Miller’s ALDC LA studio. Abby was busy dealing with some sort of fabric crisis, but the dance moms wanted her to come start pyramid. After some prompting from dance mom Ashlee, who thought it would be a good pyramid for her daughter after her big win last week, Abby promised to get the
drama party started — but only after she had a chance to do her hair.
Dance Moms season 6: Abby Lee Miller needs to get her hair did.
That’s not the tag line? Ok then. Moving on.
Ashlee took a seat on the steps in the dance moms’ lair, but she was all by herself, which JoJo Siwa jokingly pointed out.
JoJo: Where are your friends?
Ashlee: I don’t have any friends here, JoJo.
And then the dancers laughed. Well, the dancers that were already at the studio laughed, at least: JoJo, Kalani Hilliker, Brynn Rumfallo, and Nia Sioux Frazier. They were sitting together, in that order. Too bad the dancers’ mothers can’t get play nicely together like their kids can.
But where were Maddie and Mackenzie Ziegler in all of this? They were on their way to the studio with dance mom Melissa Ziegler-Gisoni and having a totally-not-staged car talk about the whole Ashlee and Brynn situation. Maddie and Mack Z. were really looking forward to a week without mama drama, which obviously was never going to be a thing that happened.
Totally without being coached (sarcasm: it’s what’s for dinner), Maddie mentioned that she liked Brynn but didn’t know what was up with Ashlee crying and walking out of last week’s competition. Here, Maddie. Let me remind you exactly what was up with that…
Wait. I don’t have to?
Mackenzie’s got me covered? But her mother and sister are going to play like she doesn’t know what she’s talking about and get her to shut up about the whole thing?
Let me just put this here:
As would become a pattern throughout Dance Moms season 6 episode 13, the whole sticky issue of Maddie’s status with the ALDC reared its ugly head in the middle of the rest of the drama. So, is Maddie Ziegler leaving the ALDC?
Of course, like, not to be rude. But am I going to choose a movie or a competition? Obviously, I’m going to choose a movie.
Or, if you’d like a little bit more clarification:
I will never forget about it. It is probably the craziest studio ever.
But wait! There’s more! Later in the episode, Abby Lee Miller took Maddie to Sal’s. In case you’ve forgotten — like I certainly did because I generally try to brain bleach after watching this show — Abby and Maddie went to Sal’s five years ago to discuss what a big star Mrs. Miller (Abby’s mom) thought Maddie could become. And the rest, as they say, is history.
Also history by Abby Lee Miller’s estimation: those rumors about Maddie leaving. As far as she’s concerned, Maddie Ziegler is not leaving the ALDC…but then her dance mom, Melissa, said this:
I mean, if we don’t come back, it’s going to be really sad. I mean, I love you guys.
Do I need to continue? Probably not. I thought we’d dealt with the Maddie rumors a couple of weeks ago, but it looks like Dance Moms is going to milk this for all it’s worth, with as many vague hints and firm denials as possible.
Maddie, for your sake, it’s time to peace out. Seriously. Take that precious, honest little sister of yours with you while you’re at it. I mean, Mack Z. deserves better than all of this insanity.
Please tell me this is rock bottom. No, really. Talk about the worst ALDC pyramid of all time. I don’t even…
Ok, so after last week’s fiasco, dance mom Ashlee Allen decided that the best thing to do was drag all of the drama back up again. When dance mom Holly and dance mom Melissa tried to get her to shut up, she didn’t. And then it was too late because dance mom Jill started screaming.
So, Ashlee had to one-up Jill in the terrible department by mentioning that Jill was just jealous that Brynn was having a better season than Kendall…which meant that poor little JoJo, who had previously been trying to console Brynn was now trying to comfort Kendall.
But Kendall didn’t want or need any of JoJo’s hugs because she wanted to scream in Ashlee’s face about how mean she was and storm out.
It was cute when Kendall told Jill she was over all the drama way back at the beginning of Dance Moms season 6. Following Jill’s example and deciding to backtalk Ashlee about whether or not Jill also crapped all over Brynn on the regular (she did), however, was not. At all. I guess Kendall thought that “becoming older and more mature” meant she should scream in an adult’s face like that? Jill’s set such a lovely example.
Even less cute: Dance mom Jill yelling at Ashlee to grow the F*** up.
So far from cute that I have no words or tolerance for it: Whatever long-form kids-and-parents-crying crap that happened after that. Seriously, people, enough is enough.
This is absolutely nuts. I understand now how Kendall gets so upset because I’m seeing Jill do it. I just don’t think that’s great for their blood pressure.
Abby Lee Miller is right again, and I’m starting to lose my mind over just how much I’m feeling sorry for her this season. It’s not great for their blood pressure. And it’s completely horrible for mine.
Remember the good ol’ days, when the worst thing that happened was Abby playing favorites? Ahhhhh, memories.
She’s so rude. I wish I could scream in her face and say how mean she is; but I’m not a brat so I’m not going to do that.
Brynn Rumfallo, ladies and gentlemen.
I can’t decide if I like that quote or think it’s yet another symptom of the disease. Calling Kendall a brat? Probably not polite. Throwing shade at her for her tantrum? Kind of warranted. The struggle.
Wait, no. It’s all awful. I hate it all. Please don’t let it get any worse. Please.
The show(s) must go on. Even with both dance moms and dancers throwing fits left and right, there was still a competition to prepare for and a “Dance Moms Loitering in Parking Lots” segment yet to be had.
What have we become? Like, we’re role models. We’re moms!
This week’s segment involved dance mom Holly’s attempt at getting everyone to stop having their petty fights in front of the children. She tried so hard to talk about being role models and good parents, but come on: This is Dance Moms. There’s no such thing as a good role model. There never has been.
Side note: I was low key expecting someone to start throwing punches when Holly asked the dance moms to step outside because that’s what that usually means. Luckily, I was wrong.
Our regularly scheduled airing of “Dance Moms Loitering in Parking Lots” was interrupted by a “Jill and Kendall Vertes Chat In an Alley” segment in which Jill, for her part, tried to get Kendall to exhibit some actual maturity and move on. But, you know, Kendall’s solution to the whole problem was for her mother to run Ashlee and Brynn out of the studio.
Kendall, honey. No.
Back at the parking lot chat, Holly was still trying to get the other dance moms to set some boundaries, just as Jill and Kendall made their way out of the alley and up to the ALDC LA’s entryway. Ashlee apologized and said she honestly had no idea how upset Kendall was going to get, and then we all had a reminder of the last time Ashlee and Jill tried to bury the hatchet. Yeah, that turned out well.
While all of this was happening, Brynn Rumfallo, Mackenzie Ziegler, and Kalani Hilliker were busy learning their solos — rewards for being part of last week’s winning trio — and the group tribute to David Bowie was in the works. But I guess none of that was important because thirty minutes of the craziest mama drama yet, with only a sprinkling of rehearsals, was on the Dance Moms 6×13 menu.
Oh. Speaking of rehearsals.
I guess Brynn shouldn’t have been there because she wasn’t in school. Ashlee’s excuse was that her daughter hadn’t been feeling well, and all the dance moms threw a fit over that. Ummmm. Truth time: I, too, have felt too crappy to go sit through day-to-day business but managed to get to dance class in the evening because I knew it would make me feel better. It’s happened plenty of times. Guilty as charged, and I doubt I’m the only person to have ever done this.
I’d even be willing to bet the other ALDC dancers have shown up for dance when they didn’t go to traditional classes, too. Furthermore, do we really think the dance moms wouldn’t have complained if Brynn had missed rehearsal? Spare me.
We’re here to dance. After some unexpected humor in the dressing room that had JoJo Siwa inadvertently reminding Abby Lee Miller that jail was a thing that existed, it was time for the kids to dance. That’s a thing they actually do, when they’re not busy crying because their mothers are so horrible to one another.
- “All I Want,” acro solo performed by Mackenzie Ziegler. There were a few cases of soft knees syndrome, and Mackenzie didn’t always stretch her whole foot right down to the tips of her toes. There was a little bit of a lean out of the pirouette, which might have been intentional to get to the next step but really wasn’t clear enough either way. Otherwise, she did pretty well and definitely nailed the style that Abby seemed to be going for with all of her J. Lo talk. Result: 2nd place preteen solo.
- “My Fred Astaire,” musical theatre solo performed by Kalani Hilliker. I really don’t have anything? The shoulders could stand to be more relaxed, but otherwise? Kalani continues to be sublime. Result: 2nd place teen solo. Excuse me while I go dig the winning solo up on youtube. I need to see that.
- “The Force Awakens,” acro solo performed by Brynn Rumfallo. A lot just felt rushed. I don’t know what those turns were supposed to be. Flubbed a la seconde and fouette turns, maybe? I just had the impression that Brynn was kind of putting steps out there — and not nearly as well as usual. I still want her feet, though. Result: 1st place preteen solo. I know I called Brynn way better than Maddie earlier this season, but I’m going to have to say I don’t agree with this placing.
Before the group dance, the kids spent some time actually having fun while they prepared their crazy hairdos for their Bowie tribute. It was really nice to see them getting to do that, even if it ended with some sort of weird “comedy” bit where JoJo made fart jokes or whatever. The difference between this dressing room segment and the ones that usually precede the group’s performance?
You guessed it: No dance moms.
It’s really nice without the moms. It’s less stressful.
Maddie Ziegler, ladies and gentlemen. Nailed it.
- “Bowie’s Still Dancing,” ALDC group contemporary. There were the usual minor issues here and there, but this was easily my favorite performance all season. Great tribute to Bowie. I mean, even the costuming was phenomenal. Result: 1st place teen group. Well deserved.
After the competition was over, the dance moms nearly found themselves having yet another fight; but even dance mom Jill Vertes said she didn’t want to bring up the problems from earlier in the week. Although dance mom Jess thought that dance mom Ashlee only had herself to blame if the craziness had been the cause of Brynn’s nerves, it was time for everybody to apologize and move on.
…but how do you move on from hatred so bad that it’s even infected your children? I guess we’ll have to tune in for the next episode of Dance Moms on Lifetime to find out…and bring the blood pressure medicine while we’re at it.